069 The Food Rules You Should Have... But *NOT* Really

In this episode of Pretty Is as Pretty Does, host Sami dives into the hidden ways food rules are keeping people stuck in a cycle of restriction, urges, and binge eating. She unpacks why rigid food rules—like no sugar, no eating after 7 p.m., only “clean” foods—don’t actually create control, but instead fuel obsession, guilt, and feeling out of control around food.

Sami explains how different people have different relationships with food—a bodybuilder’s food choices will look very different from someone healing from binge eating. For those who have struggled with bingeing, emotional eating, or food fixation, the goal isn’t to follow more rules—it’s to rebuild trust with food and create a sense of freedom instead of fear.

Listeners will also learn how to transition from restrictive food rules to food standards—a framework rooted in self-trust, alignment, and gentle discipline. Sami shares why it’s okay to desire weight loss for health or aesthetic reasons, as long as it comes from a place of love and not punishment. She also brings the conversation full circle, discussing how societal pressure to be as thin as possible often plants the seeds for disordered eating behaviors in the first place.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone ready to break free from restrictive dieting, develop a healthier relationship with food, and embrace a lifestyle that supports both their goals and their well-being.

🎙️ Listen to the full episode of Pretty Is as Pretty Does now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you tune in!

I love you, Pretty's! Connect with me on Instagram @coachsamisnow for more inspiring content on overcoming the voice in your head that tells you to go eat some more.
xoxo Coach Sami Snow

Transcript

Hey there, and welcome back to Pretty Is as Pretty Does! I’m your host, Sami, and today, we’re talking about food rules—the ones we’ve been told we should have, the ones we think we need, and the ones that might actually be keeping us stuck.

Because let’s be real—most of us didn’t just wake up one day obsessed with food. It started somewhere. Maybe it was the first time you heard that carbs were bad. Or the first time you saw a magazine cover promising lose 10 pounds in 10 days!Maybe it was the moment you decided your body wasn’t good enough the way it was.

For so many of us, binge eating, emotional eating, overeating—it didn’t just happen. It started as an innocent attempt to control food, to diet, to shrink ourselves. And the more we tried to control it, the more out of control we felt.

Today, we’re breaking that all down. We’re going to talk about why food rules hold you back—but also, how once you’ve healed your relationship with food, you can build food standards for yourself that align with your goals. You can have discipline. You can desire weight loss for health or aesthetic reasons. And you can love and honor your body along the way.

This is a full-circle moment. And I’m excited to dive in.

FOOD RULES AREN’T ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL

Before we go any further, let’s clear something up: different people have different relationships with food.

A bodybuilder who’s training for a competition? Their food rules will look completely different from someone just trying to heal their relationship with food. An athlete fueling their performance will have different nutritional needs than someone recovering from years of yo-yo dieting.

And if you’re someone who has struggled with binge eating, emotional eating, or feeling out of control around food? Your goal is not the same as theirs.

Your goal isn’t to follow a strict plan or hit a certain macro count. Your goal is to rebuild trust with yourself around food.To eat in a way that feels nourishing and peaceful. To stop thinking about food all the time. To stop feeling like you’re at war with your own body.

So while one person might be able to say, “I don’t eat sugar because it doesn’t align with my goals,” and it’s not a big deal for them, someone who has struggled with binge eating might need to take a completely different approach.

This is why blindly adopting someone else’s food rules never works. Because what works for them might not be what’s best for you.

FOOD RULES CREATE URGES THAT LEAD TO BINGE EATING

Now, here’s where things get tricky. Because we grow up thinking that food rules = control. But in reality, food rules often lead to the opposite—feeling completely out of control.

The second you tell yourself, I can’t have sugar, your brain starts craving sugar. The second you decide no eating after 7 p.m., 8 p.m. rolls around and suddenly you’re fixated on food.

This is how restriction turns into urges. And urges turn into binges.

It’s a slow, insidious cycle:

• First, you restrict—you set a rule.
• Then, you obsess—you think about the rule constantly.
• Next, you break the rule—because rules are unsustainable.
• Then comes guilt—you feel like you failed, so you go all in.
• And finally? You start over—new rules, new restrictions, new promises that this time will be different.

But it’s never different. Because the cycle isn’t broken by more rules. It’s broken by trusting yourself again.

And that trust? That’s something you build—through trial and error, through tuning into your body, through letting go of the idea that food is something you have to control.

FROM FOOD RULES TO FOOD STANDARDS

Now, let’s talk about what happens when you do heal your relationship with food. Because a lot of people get stuck here.

They think, If I stop following food rules, does that mean I’ll just eat whatever I want forever?
 And the answer is no.

Once you’ve let go of food rules, you get to start building food standards. And food standards are very different from food rules.

• Food rules are rigid. Food standards are flexible.
• Food rules are rooted in fear. Food standards are rooted in self-respect.
• Food rules feel like punishment. Food standards feel like alignment.

When you heal your relationship with food, you don’t need extreme rules to keep yourself in check. You start making choices that feel good. You begin to enjoy discipline—not because you have to, but because it feels like self-care.

And yes, it’s okay to have body goals. It’s okay to want to lose weight—whether it’s for health, aesthetics, or just because you want to. But it has to come from a place of love, not self-hate.

Because here’s the thing:
 If you don’t love yourself at your current size, you won’t magically love yourself 20 pounds lighter. The work isn’t just in what you eat. It’s in how you see yourself, how you honor yourself, how you care for the body that carries you through this life.

SOCIETY SET US UP FOR THIS

And this is where we bring it full circle.

Most of us wouldn’t have developed binge eating patterns if it weren’t for society’s obsession with thinness.

Think about it—why did you start dieting in the first place? Why did you start tracking every bite, labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” trying to shrink yourself at all costs?

Because we were taught that smaller is better. That our worth is in how we look. That we need to be as thin as possible, no matter the cost.

And what did that lead to? An entire generation of people who are afraid of food. Who feel guilty for eating a damn cookie. Who have spent years bouncing between restriction and binge eating, all because they were chasing an impossible standard.

But here’s the truth:
 You are allowed to care about your body without hating it.
 You are allowed to pursue health without punishing yourself.
 You are allowed to enjoy food and have discipline—because discipline, when it’s rooted in self-love, is just another form of self-care.

So here’s my challenge for you:
 What’s one food rule you’ve been holding onto? And what would happen if you let it go—just for a day?

I’d love to hear from you—DM me, send me a message, or share your thoughts. And if this episode resonated with you, it would mean the world if you left a review or shared it with a friend.

Thanks for being here, and remember: pretty is as pretty does. See you next time!